10.10.10

23:45:00

Tgl 10.10.10 memang tanggal yg unik. Banyak pasangan yg married ato operasi caesar hari ini. Tanggal ini juga special buat gua, 7 tahun yg lalu...



I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

Lagu itu terngiang2 terus di telinga gua hari ini. Lagu broken heart yg waktu itu gua dengerin nyaris tiap hari. Ga kerasa, udah 7 tahun berlalu sejak saat itu.

10.10.03
Hari itu, jam 5 sore, sepulang sekolah, gua bawa dia ke belakang sanggar pramuka. Udah itu, gua berlutut di depan dia, cium tangannya, terus bilang..."M**, gua sayang lu. Gua tau gua banyak kekurangan, tapi mau ga lu kasih gua kesempatan buat jadi yg terbaik buat elu? Mau ga lu terima gua sebagai cowo lu?"
Muka dia berubah merah, dia nunduk sebentar, terus jawab dengan suara paling manis yg pernah gua denger, "Mauuu..."

Mulai dari saat itu, kita resmi pacaran. We walked together, hand in hand, with love as our guide. Kedengerannya keren ya? A bright future await us. As long as we have each other, there's no obstacles that we can't overcome. Love will always find a way...that's what I thought.

Sayangnya, takdir berkata laen. Kurang lebih 1 tahun 1 bulan kurang 4 hari kemudian, our story comes to an end. Well, tepatnya, Im the one who ended it...

Bukan karena udah ga sayang, tapi justru karena gua sayang banget ma dia dan gua ga mau kalo gara2 jadian ma gua, dia malah jadi ngerusak diri dia sendiri. That's why, I have to let her go. Gua udah tau kalo ada yg salah dengan hubungan ini, dan selama 6 bulan gua udah berusaha semaksimal yg gua bisa, tapi tetep aja gua nemu jalan buntu. This is the only way...I keep tellin' myself that.

It was the worst day of my life. I have to lie, and hurt the person I loved the most. Dan hari itu juga, gua mohon kepada Tuhan, mending gua ga usah jadian kalo emang ternyata gua ga jodoh ma seseorang, daripada gua harus sekali lagi nyakitin orang yg gua sayang.

Sekali lagi, bukan karena gua ga sayang. Tapi karena gua sayang banget ma dia, I have to let her go. Well, gua tau ini bukan jalan yg terbaik, tapi ini jalan yg bener. I have to do this. For her. For our love.

She cried, and cried, and beg me not to leave. But I HAVE to go. Even today, if I close my eyes, I can still remember her crying face. She was hurt, and Im the one who hurt her. She loved me, I loved her, but still, we can't be together. I ran away from her, and in the middle of a heavy rain, I cried. She never know the true reason, she mustn't, atau segalanya akan sia2.

Waktu bergulir, dan 7 tahun kemudian, hari ini, gua bersyukur...ternyata dia berhasil bangkit. Dia jadi mandiri, tegar, and she lived a happy life. Tujuan gua tercapai. Pengorbanan gua ga sia2. Semua rasa sakit dan bersalah yg harus gua tanggung kini berbuah manis. Im happy for her. You know you love someone when everything you wish for that person is happiness, even though you are not a part of it.

Today I talked to her on the phone, and I ask her
"Are you happy now?"
Dia jawab, "Not as happy as those days I spent with you, but yeah sure, I love my current life"
Gua terdiam, tapi diem2 gua tersenyum lega. Thx God, I didn't made a mistake...
"Now's my turn to ask" she said to me. "Are you happy now?"
Gua terdiam sebentar, terus gua jawab, "Not as happy as you made me back then, but yeah sure, Im doing pretty good"
We are two people, finding the best in each other, and then we went into our separate ways, trying to find our own happiness...
Simply put, we loved each other, but we are just not meant to be together...

Im thankful that 7 years ago, she gave me a chance. Now's the time to kiss this love goodbye. I gotta go and find my own happiness.
As I walk away from those memories, I remember every moments I've shared with her, and that song is still echoing in my mind...



Only Reminds Me of You


I see you, beside me
It's only a dream
A vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories

How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to let you know

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

I needed my freedom
That's what I've thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied while you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see

Everything we've been through before
Now it means so much more

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

Only you...

Please come back to me
I'm down on my knees
Girl can't you see...

How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to let you know

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

---

If you are somehow reading this, I wanna thank you for everything, every laughter and tears, and especially, thank you for loving me...

You Might Also Like

3 Orang pembaca meninggalkan jejak di sini

  1. Baca post an yg ini membuatku merasa berada di kejadian 6 bulan yg lalu.
    Yup, aku mengalami hal yg sama persis dg ini...
    Dia memutuskanku, bukan krn tdk syg,bukan krn tdk cocok,bukan krn ada masalah...
    Tapi krn dia...yah spt alasanmu itu...
    But i think this is wrong.
    Yah, mungkin aku masih berpikir berdasarkan hati, bukan logika. Menurutku kalo syg ya harus dipertahankan.. *gubraaakkk... Kok Jd curcol gini, Haha....

    Nice post... Like it...

    ReplyDelete

Temen-temen yg ga punya blog atau account Google, tetap bisa komentar kok. Di bagian "Comment As" pilih "Name/URL", terus masukin nama dan email kamu, beres deh.

Satu-dua buah baris komentar yg sahabat tinggalkan merupakan sebuah apresiasi yg sangat besar artinya bagi sang penulis =)

Subscribe